Jumping in

totally. over. whelming. This is what I’m thinking as I stare into the drawer.

There is a lot of stuff in my new office. Not my stuff, though there’s some of that. Mine are mostly boxes of books packed away in the previous homes of Grey Goose and Smirnoff. While they are the perfect size, I did question the logic of raiding the ABC store to pack up my office in NC as I carried vodka box after vodka box loaded with theology books into the new church.

So there are those.

But then there’s a drawer of paper clips and capless pens. An old button—was it the previous minister’s? Was it from someone’s dress in 1982? There’s a bolt—should I keep it? Pack it in a box marked “might be important”? In another drawer, there are chocolate coins in a pretty little pouch. Are they from 1982? The shelves house old issues of “These days” devotionals and every copy of the Sunday school curriculum for the last 8 years. There is a bag that says, “Bells for Christmas Eve or throw away.” What does that mean? THOSE are your options?!

I went in early to get something done—to find a recent copy of the Book of Order and my Robert’s Rules, to sign in to my new email, to maybe do some sermon prep.

But instead, I am staring around wondering about all this stuff. And questioning the logic of my first act as the new associ… interim minister (will I ever stop calling myself the associate minister?)—to moderate a Session meeting.

That, and preach on Sunday. Preach on Sunday after working the busiest week of tax season as a secretary for four days with precisely one day in the church office—my first day in the office. Do I really think I’ll get sermon prep done?

I keep “joking” that this is like jumping into the deep end. Now I think maybe it’s like jumping into the deep end of one of those wave pools at a water park. Or standing on the shore of Lake Michigan in 5 foot waves and an undertow. Sometimes it’s a rush; sometimes you have to walk back toward the shallow shore to catch your breath.

I’m over-philosophizing but I still like the analogy. In this moment, I thought I’d be thrilled to jump in the waves. I’m a little surprised to be clinging to the shore. I’m not too worried but I’m curious about it.

Turns out my first official duty wasn’t moderating the Session meeting, btw. A few minutes before the meeting, as I was stepping into the ladies room, the head of property caught me by the elbow and said in a quiet tone, “Ah, well, we just had to put in a new commode—can you give me a report?” perfect.